Definition: The need to show completed projects on your blog when none exist. Let me explain… renovation is fun… said no one, ever. The fun parts are the planning and the completion, but all that stuff in the middle is messy and frustrating, with the possible exception of using the sledgehammer (more on that in a moment). Now don’t get me wrong, our 1971 charmer has definitely taken a huge step toward this century, but we are tackling smaller projects now all over the house, while I have a strong desire to have an entire room completed, so I can say to my friends, look friends, at my amazing completed room. Ah well… I guess for the moment, I will simply have to say look friends, at this sink I replaced…

That’s right! A brown (not seen in nature, except in some very unpleasant places) bathroom! Jealous much? Well, that is the sink that John and I now share. For the past 15 years, we have been lucky enough, I should say, I have been lucky enough to have my own sink. Sharing a sink with a man is no picnic, especially when it is a brown sink. One day I woke up and said, this cannot go on! I took out my trusty sledgehammer, and I got to work. We have already established my love of sledgehammers. This project sealed the deal.

Let’s begin, but I must warn you that replacing a sink for the uninitiated (me) is nothing to take lightly. You simply have to charge ahead with a take no prisoners attitude and never look back. Step one: I measured the vanity and went online to see what I could find. What I found is that sinks are no longer made with those dimensions (naturally) but I said to myself… what’s an extra inch…

I ordered and paid for my selections online and promptly ran down to the store to pick them up (an awesome service that I was previously unaware of). You stop at the customer service counter (where you will meet mostly dissatisfied customers) they bring you your items, and you run away (a very satisfied customer).

Now for the fun part… I get to use my sledgehammer! As I mentioned, I have never done this before, but thankfully I know enough to turn off the water, disconnect the hot and cold hoses, and loosen the pea trap before I begin. Hammer time…

These things look innocent enough, but trust me… they are not. They did not go gentle into that good night. They held on with both hands and had no intention of letting go! My sledgehammer and I got quite a workout that day! What I didn’t know then, was that that was the easy part…

What came next defies description and produced a string of expletives, but there was no going back now. Thank goodness for YouTube videos! It was highly recommended that the hoses and pop up drain stopper (say that five times fast) (and yes, that is the correct term for the little plug in the bottom of the sink, I googled it) be attached before you place the sink on the vanity. Easier said than done! First of all, the faucet I ordered said it included the hoses (that is part of the reason I chose it) but that was a lie. So… off I go to my neighborhood hardware store to buy hoses… Hello, I’d be happy to help, what size hoses do you need? What??? They come in sizes? What sort of cruel joke is this? I quickly formed a mental image of the original hoses that I had disconnected, in my brain, and as luck would have it, my brain was correct! Hoses attached… check! Now on to the pop up drain stopper… let me tell you, it is no easy task to balance a sink on your lap with the faucet coming out one side and the hoses coming out the other while you try to install a functional pop up drain stopper. Finally, many expletives later, that too is complete. Now all that’s left is to set the sink on the vanity reattach the hoses and the pea trap and we’re golden, right??? Not so fast there… there’s the matter of an extra inch… More expletives!

Why does that puny extra inch become such a huge issue? Because it does… and there is no way that I’m going to let this sink beat me! Back to the hardware store I go. Hello, I would like a very sharp hack saw to hack a certain vanity into submission, why certainly, we have that right over here.

At last! I am ready to set the sink on the vanity and call it a day… but the drain doesn’t line up with the pea trap… Damn you extra inch!!! What to do, what to do? Can’t go forward, can’t go back… stuck! Google… help me! Aha! There is such a thing as a flexible pipe for just this eventuality… who knew? Flexible pipe installed, check! Water lines reattached, check! Final step, turn on the faucets and pray…

Houston, we have lift off!

You may have one final question… what about those spots where the tile had to be removed and you can see the wallboard? My response, do you see the white sink? Yes, but what about the wallboard? DO YOU SEE THE WHITE SINK??? Yes.  Alright then…

The final final plan here includes gutting said bathroom and starting from scratch, but the temporary final plan includes painting the cabinet white, attaching teal knobs to it, painting the ceiling a soft blue and the walls a soft teal, and of course, sending that brown toilet to the dump!

Alright, it’s true. The reason that I was so excited, well a large part of the reason, aside from the need to have something under control in this house, about the completed night table project, and yes I do like long run on sentences, was because at the moment we have so many projects that are NOT completed. That is not to say that they will never be completed, although it sometimes feels that way, but I just feel a little scattered with regard to where to focus my energies right now.

Should it be the unfinished master (and I use that term loosely) bathroom? Note the spackle on the walls waiting to be sanded so that painting can continue.

Should it be the living room? What was that I just said about spackle?

What about the dining room? More spackle???

Why was I put in charge of spackle??? Could it possibly be because I am the only one who can do it correctly? No… that seems highly unlikely. Because I’m the only one who sees the real need  for it? Entirely more likely, I’m afraid. So rather than have hole studded walls (the previous owner must have had a serious amount of art… I believe the sun room alone has 30 nail holes!)… I spackle. And as anyone who spackles will tell you… you spackle, you wait for it to dry, you sand, and you repeat. It can be quite a process. 30 nail holes? Really???

Honestly though, there is something soothing about starting with a blob of spackle and finishing with a smooth wall. A small price to pay for freshly painted walls, I suppose. Except for the dust!!!

Fortunately, or unfortunately, the three rooms mentioned are not the only ones in need of this treatment… I’m trying to pace myself.

Stay tuned to see which room I decide to prioritize…

P.S. Have you ever seen the word spackle used so often in one post? I count nine… add one more completely unneccessary spackle, to make it an even ten, and now I’m considering contacting the Guinness Book of World Records.

A completed project! Say whaaat?! Now before you get too excited, it only involves my night table, but a completed project is a completed project! The idea was that my night table was overrun with electronic things, their many cables, and other assorted objects. Let’s straighten this up, I said to myself. I often talk to myself, and no, it is not a sign of a serious condition requiring equally serious medication.

Objects That Typically Live on My Night Table

It all began with the surge protector. I decided to hang it on the back of the night table to make the cords tidier and more accessible.

What I needed for this project: A night table, a surge protector, a hammer (to make pilot holes), 4 screws (to hang the surge protector), a screw driver, and a tape measure (which is conveniently kept in my night table).

The supplies

I measured the slots on the back of the surge protector, made corresponding marks on the back of the night table, and attached the screws.

Next, I hung the surge protector.

And finally, I reattached the cords.

Now most people would have been happy to stop there, but the owner of these socks…

took it a step further…

My night table is a thing of beauty to behold!

Since I have mentioned that packing may not be our forte, I thought I could help by making a “what not to do” list when it comes to packing.

Let’s talk about the important things… TV and libations.

When packing TV’s, I recommend packing all of the paraphernalia for each TV together in a box that is labeled something like, Don’t lose this or you’ll never get your TV working again! We haven’t had television viewing since the move (houses weren’t wired for cable in 1971), and honestly, although I watched a fair amount of it before, I haven’t missed it. My better half, on the other hand, is definitely going through withdrawal… no baseball, no football, no ESPN, no YES. For me, that part of it has been… heaven. Poor John though… the TV’s are taunting him in the same voice that the washer and dryer used on me, only they aren’t quite as nice about it. Yo! Where did you put my clicker? You’re never going to watch the World Series this way!

Now as to libations, at some point you are going to want to enjoy a glass of wine or a bottle of beer, but guess what… your corkscrew and bottle opener have run off somewhere with your remote and you will be lucky to find them ever, let alone when you are thirsty. You must prioritize the important things!!! Or simply resign yourself to drinking screw top wine and canned beer.

Another must…spare bedding. You will remember that immediately after the move, we began tearing out carpet, sleeping on a mattress on the floor, while sharing a room with our cats, in a house with no laundry facilities. Believe it or not, this is really not a great way to keep bedding at it’s best. This would explain the very late night trip we took to Walmart to buy a replacement set when we were mad as hell, and just couldn’t take it anymore (or words to that effect).

One thing that I would have to say we did right this time is using clear plastic bins to pack a majority of our things rather than cardboard boxes. On the plus side they are waterproof, nearly indestructible, and you can see what’s in them. On the down side, they don’t seem very environmentally friendly, but I sleep at night knowing they will be recycled by my daughter and her family when they (plan to) move next spring.

It sounds like something that probably aired on Creature Feature that I wasn’t allowed to watch as a kid… sorry Mom and Dad, I watched it anyway, and you were right… it did give me nightmares… and one of them turned into my present reality… we became POD people. And as scary as that seems, it was probably one of the best decisions that we made when it came to the move. Organization of said PODS, as we discussed, not so much, but we used them to the max. John has mad 3 D visualization skills. He can look at a POD and then look at a random assortment of boxes, bins, and furniture, and see how to make it all fit within. Amazing!

When it came to the unpacking, that’s when I took control. Nothing came into the house that I didn’t first put what I call fuzzy feet, more commonly known as felt pads, onto. I was also very firm that random pieces of furniture, i.e., pieces that did not yet have a home, were not allowed to enter the house, much to John’s consternation. But what is storage space for, if not to store? John’s approach would have been to pile everything up in the dining room (indefinitely) until we decided where to put each piece (eventually) and that would have landed me in a straight jacket (immediately), and since John will attest to the fact that I am nearly certifiable as it stands now, he acquiesced to my demands…  I mean wishes.

Fuzzy Feet

I Mean… Felt Pads

Attic Storage

Garage Storage

Little House Storage

Shed Storage

I have to admit that I am enjoying living this rather minimalist life at the moment. It will be interesting to see whether or not that continues as more boxes slowly make their way into the house. Not that I don’t treasure, what I consider to be my special things, the things that I really will pass down to future generations with a sense of joy, but knowing that they are safely tucked away in a box somewhere, and that I don’t have to worry about them, gives me the freedom to live without them.

You do not talk about renovation… Wait, that’s not it… It’s this, and you had better write this down (there may be a quiz later)… Do not pack the tools in the back of some POD that you don’t know when or if you will ever see again. I think that bears repeating… DO NOT PACK THE TOOLS!

Why does that even need to be mentioned? It should be self evident, should it not? Well believe me, when you are in the throws of a move, logic does not play a heavy role in your packing decisions. What is this? Who cares… throw it in a box. That is why my salvation, aka local hardware store, and I are on such good terms. Where is the hammer? I don’t know. Better go buy a hammer. Where are the Phillips head screwdrivers… you get the idea. When the PODS do finally get fully unpacked, lo and behold, we now have multiples of all the standard household tools, but you know my old adage… save them for the kids to have some day.

Sidebar: Is it likely that the kids even want half of what we have squirreled away in the attic? I find that to be highly unlikely. I think it is just a way to salve our guilty consciences toward past generations. See Grandma… I have saved this precious thingamabob from your day and age, and even though I have no earthly use for it, I am saving said item to be enjoyed by countless future generations.

Here is a parade of tools old and new, that I, my children, and my children’s children, will be using and enjoying for years to come…

The tools came marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah…

Tools that continue to be missing in action even though the PODS are long gone include: the power drill and the chainsaw… things whose absence irk me for two reasons, 1) because I am a little tired of having two of everything that we can’t find the first time, and 2) I need them to complete certain projects that I am in the middle of… and I don’t like leaving projects in the middle, because I find them very hard to return to.

Now where did I put that hammer???

Today, exactly 72 days, yes you heard right, 72 days after the day we moved in, we did our first load of laundry! Yippee! Let me clarify that, this is not the first time we are doing laundry since the move, simply the first time in our new home. I didn’t want you to get the wrong impression.

How have we been managing you may ask? Once again, I have to thank my friends (thank you friends) who were kind enough to have us over, feed us, let us sit on their furniture (a real treat, at the time), and do our laundry. You can never really appreciate something as simple as doing laundry at home, until you can no longer do it! So naturally, any opportunity that arose was taken advantage of. You’d like to invite us to dinner? Why we’d love to! Let us know what kind of wine you’d like us to bring with our detergent.

One of the most frustrating aspects of these 72 days was the fact that the washer and dryer were in the garage virtually the entire time. When I go out in the morning, there they are. When I come home in the evening, there they are. I could feel their presence taunting me. We’re right here… but you can’t use us. Finally, enough was enough! The ridiculous carpet had been removed, the beautiful new tile had been laid, and the walls, ceiling, and cabinet had been painted a bright and shiny white. It was time!

We can’t see them, but we know they’re there

In part we had been delaying their installation due to the fact that their size and weight closely approximate that of a baby, or possibly an adult, elephant (I’m thinking of calling them Dumbo and Mrs. Jumbo), and we thought we might need some hired muscle. Then out of the blue this afternoon John turned to me and said, “I think I’m going to get the washer and dryer ready to move into the house”. I wasn’t sure whether I was in the middle of a dream, or a nightmare, and there were several times later in the afternoon when I still found myself wondering the same thing. But after no fewer than three separate trips to the hardware store and much grunting and grumbling by all concerned, I’ll be darned if those beasts, I mean glorious machines of the modern age, aren’t in their spots in the laundry room!

And tonight I will fall asleep listening to the gentle swish of the washing machine and the soft hum of the dryer. Are there any two more beautiful sounds in the entire world??? I think not.